1. |
Close
03:38
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if the bottom of the bottle is the end of the night
then i'll stop drinking, i don't want to say goodbye
whenever i feel close to anyone that's when i start to doubt
it's when my inner voice says:
"no matter how good it gets, you're always alone in your own head"
danny told me that college was nothing but childhood extended
and that's right but it's not all
i feel like i've got choices now like "i know that i could end it"
when my inner voice says:
"no matter how good it gets, you're always alone in your own head"
i heard a buzz, in my bedroom
i saw a tiny fuzzy thing, no idea what to do
so i did what came naturally
i lunged at it with a tissue
i felt it pop between my finger and (my) thumb
i threw it in the trash and life went on
and if there's somewhere neat that you are going
i want to see you there some time
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2. |
Rhodiola
03:06
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i keep sleeping in
i won't wake easily
i'm pretty sure that if i really tried
it would kill me
i want to do more
i want to be somebody to someone else
but how are things supposed to get better
when i won't get out of bed
i don't know how i remember
i don't know how i remember anything
i don't know how i remember
i don't know how i remember anything
i can't breathe right
i can't see well
i'm pretty sure that if you tried really hard
you could kill me
i don't know how i remember
i don't know how i remember anything
i don't know how i remember
i don't know how i remember anything
when rhodiola doesn't work
what's left to do, what's left to lose
i don't know how i remember
i don't know how i remember anything
i don't know how i remember
i don't know how i remember anything
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3. |
Any Other
03:43
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i could imagine you as somebody else
but it wouldn't matter, it still would've happened
i would be stuck here, not really sure
if you want something from me or if i want something from you
i got back into bed and i thought about your face
and i thought about the end and any other place i'd want to go
before the cold consumes me, before it buries me alive
and i am trapped with no escaping underneath a sheet of ice
could you have been any other person?
would it have been different?
i didn't feel so well, i woke up sick yesterday
my skin was leaking something that wasn't meant to be there in the first place
i want you to know that i don't want to hurt you
but i have to let you down, i've gotta let you know now
that you could be any other person
it wouldn't be different
and i need closure
on various issues
that are rooted in my mind
so deep that i can barely find them
and i need someone
to close this wound
that bleeds and bleeds and bleeds my blood
and bleeds and bleeds and bleeds my blood
but it could be any other person
it wouldn't be different
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4. |
If I Ever Know You
05:46
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crushed beneath the weight of having nothing to say
so i wait and you do the same
for every inaction there is no response
nothing happens, we'll both move on
if oil and water can mix with soap
could we talk if someone showed us the ropes?
but there's no connection to bring us together
you can't latch on to "how's the weather?"
if i ever know you
maybe i'll let you know how much you mean
sick and getting old with no way to reverse it
i can't talk to you if i don't rehearse it in my head
after all this time spent staring at the wall
you'd think i'd be able to say anything at all
if i ever know you
maybe i'll let you know how much you mean
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5. |
Empty Stomach
03:56
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i know as well as anyone else
i should've tried harder earlier
but i can't take my own advice
i guess it's not in my nature
so i'll just do what works for me
never sleeping and never eating
until the hunger catches up
and i pass out or make myself something
but nothing's really permanent
we've all got to die someday
if i weren't disaffected
i'd have an empty stomach anyway
i need a new foundation for how i live my life
maybe it could be something
that would get me to bed on time
sometimes you'll spill shit on your shirt
and that stain will never come out
you'll have to live with that mistake you made
until you're put in the ground
but nothing's really permanent
we've all got to die someday
if i weren't disaffected
i'd have an empty stomach anyway
i need a new foundation for how i live my life
maybe it could be something
that would get me to bed on time
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6. |
Felt This Light
03:21
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putting my dreams inside a book
you can read them when you know me, know me
when will i realise i can't do everything?
will i decide i'd die for anything?
when i'm not sure to drop out or drop dead
i sit in silence and wait for something to happen
but nothing does, and nothing will
and i know it's not like that, it's just fun
and i know it's not that bad, but it's not good
and i know it's not like that, it's just fun
for you
as soon as i got back here from being at home
i felt like i could float away if i just jumped and held my breath
i haven't felt this light for a long time
i haven't felt this light before
and i know it's not like that, it's just fun
and i know it's not that bad, but it's not good
and i know it's not like that, it's just fun
for you
putting my dreams inside a book
(i haven't felt this light for a long time, i haven't felt this light before)
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7. |
Life as a Virus
07:51
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i retreat into my dreams daily
i'm only seventy percent present at best at any time
and i have no mood permanence
whatever i am is whatever i have always been
living in the future lately, dry eyes, wide smile
living life as a virus, showing only some signs of living at all
i only sleep for pleasure, only breathe in chemicals
when i start feeling too light, i weigh myself down
because i need heaviness, i need to know i'm really here
if something passes me by, i'm afraid i'll fade away
or disintegrate into strands of grey, grey hair
burn up in the atmosphere
my dreams keep sneaking up on me
it's always when i feel like i could almost get to sleep
noise always creeping up on me
and i can see all the colour and the sound around you
skeleton can't hold me in
i burst outside of my own skin, don't know where i am going
fall backwards onto my bed
but i don't get up, no, i plan to sleep this off instead
i am a memory
long lost twin of a reflection
i am a memory
long lost twin of a reflection
i am a memory
follow the stars back home
as i float out of my body
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8. |
(Stars)
01:20
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...and the stars started flickering
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9. |
In Reverie
04:20
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i spend a lot of time in reverie
trying as best as i can to ignore
that life goes on even without me
and i wouldn't notice everyone near
dissolving or turning to dust in my view
i guess i'm kind of distant
sometimes i'm on, but most times i'm not
able to breathe, this proximity
is killing my ability to be
but if you can stay here for a while, tell me what to do
then self-hate can wait until tomorrow
bury me in sorrow, cover me in joy
bury me in sorrow, cover me in joy
i'll take all their words
because i can't think of my own
sometimes that's just how it works
and i'll take my time
to make what i can while
i still have the chance to feel it
so if you can stay here for a while, tell me what to do
then self-hate can wait until tomorrow
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Far Apart Dublin, Ireland
Singer-songwriter currently based in Swansea.
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